When one has a chronically ill child, it can be chillingly isolating, especially for the child. The whole “out of sight, out of mind” couldn’t possibly be more real. Depending on their ailment, the child can’t go to school, church, activities, parties, or other social gatherings. They are very closed off and, after years of that, it begins to take a serious toll on them mentally and emotionally.
Sophia would give just about anything to go to school, to church, to sporting events, or wherever her friends are so as to interact with her peers and feel a sense of normalcy. The few friends she has retained are living life and she begins to feel the magnitude of isolation. It becomes depressing and our home begins to feel to her like a POW camp. Everyone goes about their business and the world keeps spinning, yet there sits my child all alone.
As a parent, to say it is gut-wrenching to watch my child be so lonely would be a gross understatement. It is disheartening because there’s little one can do. It’s exceedingly challenging to comprehend how so many people rushing around can completely forget an entire person, but it happens every day. People I run into at church, for instance, say “Oh, I’m praying for Sophia” or “I’m thinking of her” or some variation thereof, but she can’t feel those thoughts or, frankly, the prayers. I appreciate them, but sick kids need more than that. Periodically, they need cards, calls, texts, visits and prayer in person so as to be reminded they’re not as forgotten as they may feel. They need to know they’re not “less than” other kids their age because others are well and they are ill.
If I’m being honest, we parents need to see others remember our children, not people saying in passing, “I’m thinking of him or her.” As I’ve said many times, people can’t feel thoughts. We’re not in a movie where people mysteriously feel someone thinking about them. “Good vibes” isn’t a real thing. People need to experience thoughts and prayers, concern and love; action is required. When I see, as I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, other healthy kids at school, church, or out and about, it’s glaringly apparent what my kid is missing.
Sometimes, it’s important to speak up so as to let people know what your child is experiencing because people can’t read our minds. We most certainly do not need to express everything we feel every moment we feel it because feelings can be so against truth, but there are times we must make ourselves heard. That way, no one can cite, “I didn’t know what they were going through.” We must stop being afraid to speak up when warranted. Remind people of your sick child and that they could use a visit. I understand we’re all busy and everyone has their own issues of life, so it isn’t out of the question to say to someone, “Hey, my kid could use _____”. Only then are they aware of an appropriate action. The Church, specifically, should willingly show their love through various people reaching out to that child. That is the role of the body of Christ.
In this particular blog, I’m not giving advice as much as sharing my heart. I’m sure there are others in our situation who are feeling closed off from the thriving. Be encouraged. Share with someone how you or your kids are feeling. Don’t be afraid to speak up. There are too many people in this world for anyone to feel all alone, sick or well. Peace and blessings to each of you and may the healing of Christ overtake you spirit, soul and body.